Every day, you go through your routines of busy meetings, getting kids to sports games, cleaning house, and (maybe!) get some time to spend with your partner or yourself. It feels like your life is a constant merry-go-round of to-do’s, schedules, and deadlines. Maybe you feel like you can take it on most of the time… except for that week of your period.
Those few days leading up to your bleed, plus the bleed time itself, leave you feeling exhausted, depleted, crampy, sensitive, irritable, and unmotivated. So, you drudge through the week, living on caffeine and pain-killers to get rid of the period cramps, impatiently waiting for your Aunt Flo to beat feet so you can get on with your life. If this sounds all too familiar, then I encourage you to keep reading!
What if I told you there is a better way to have your period? It’s a lot easier than you think, too.
If you want an easier period, you have to think BRIGHT!
B=Boundaries
R=Rest
I=Introspection
G=Gentle Activities
H=Help
T=Track
This framework helps to set the tone for the whole month by giving you the TLC your body, mind, and soul need at a crucial time in your cycle. Before I share the BRIGHT Side of Periods framework, let’s talk about what days in your cycle you need this up-leveled self-care, and why it’s important.
Why do I need to follow the BRIGHT framework to have a better period?
Your body is an incredible, intricate system that works hard to keep you moving through life. And since you have periods, that means your hormones are changing week by week throughout your whole cycle. Hormonally speaking, your body is WAY different than a man’s body, and it operates on a completely different clock. And unfortunately, our society runs just like men's hormones: On a 24-hour solar clock.
Men’s primary hormone, testosterone, rises in the morning with their cortisol, giving them a huge boost of energy first thing. That energy gradually falls throughout the day, which primes them for sleep at bedtime. Next day, they wake up to do it all over again. Their energy runs on a 24-hour energy clock (called the Circadian Rhythm).
While your body follows a 24-hour circadian rhythm for many processes, it also runs on a
28ish-day cycle of estrogen, progesterone, and a wee bit of testosterone. This is called an Infradian cycle, and whether you like it or not, it affects how you Human throughout the entire month.
While on your flow, you are at the beginning of your cycle, in the Menstrual Phase. At this point, your hormones are at their lowest, which means that your energy, focus, and stamina will also be at their lowest point. Biologically, your body needs a break after doing all its work to build the lining of your uterus, grow an egg, and prepare for pregnancy (which it literally does every month unless you are on hormonal birth control). If you ignore this reset point and keep doing all the things, your body doesn’t have the chance she needs to recover, leading to dysfunctional cycles, fatigue, and a whole host of other health issues.
We can't change the pace that world runs around us (yet!), but we can change how we navigate through our daily lives. This is the beauty of cycle-syncing. When you account for your Infradian rhythm, you tap into your natural female powerhouse of energy, instead of feeling like you are always trying to keep up. So, you slow down for a few days, feel invigorated and refreshed, and then you're ready to take on life again as the most vibrant version of you!
What days are the Slow Down Days?
This big dip happens a day or two before you start your cycle. Without conception, progesterone and estrogen fall, prompting your body to shed its uterine lining. If you experience PMS, you may notice that the day or two before you bleed are the most difficult. That’s a big clue that you need to start your Slow Down Days just before your period.
You can continue your Slow Down Days until you are finished bleeding, or longer if you need. You typically start to feel more energized as Estrogen rises around Day 6-8 of your cycle. FYI, Day 1 of your cycle starts with the first day of bright red blood.
Personally, I start my Slow Down Days about 2 days before my bleed, and I carry them through about Day 4. Because I’ve spent the time to get to know what my body needs, I can customize my business and family calendar to support this Slow Down time.
Now, let’s learn about how you can have better cycles by embracing the BRIGHT Side of Periods!
1. The BRIGHT Side of Periods = Setting BOUNDARIES
There’s a reason setting boundaries is first, Sister, because it is the MOST important thing to do during your Inner Winter aka Period week. I know boundary-setting is a hot topic right now… but if you are a Go-Getter, High-Achieving Super Woman like me, there’s likely one person you are NOT setting boundaries with: Yourself.
Take a look at your doings during a typical Period week. How many of things on your to-do list are self-imposed? How many commitments did you say yes to? Did you volunteer to stay late at work? Or take on the snacks for the soccer team for the third time this month?
Good chance there’s a part of you that believes that if you don’t do all the things every day, it means you are lazy or never going to reach your goals. I know, because I believed that story, too. From one High Achiever to another, I will tell you right now, that story is bullshit. And it's keeping you from feeling your best.
Not giving yourself time to recharge is going to catch up with you, Babe. Because if you are having crazy irregular or painful periods, getting headaches regularly, having trouble with weight management, or bad mood swings/PMS, then your body is already showing signs that she is on the brink of burnout from you doing too much.
This is why setting boundaries with yourself is so important for YOU, my Go-Getter Sister. Your body needs time to slow down. When you accept this need and support your natural rhythm, magic starts to happen. Prioritizing your Period Self-Care and then creating strong boundaries gives your body the time she needs to recover so you can be your most vibrant, badass self. Periods become easier, you feel sharper and happier throughout the whole month, and you just feel plain BETTER.
Here are 4 ways you can start setting good self-care boundaries during your Slow Down Days:
Strip your calendar down to essential tasks ONLY. If you control your schedule, strip down your meetings to bare minimum. Do not schedule big physical projects that week, or make sure they get done before your Slow Down days.
Delegate at least one thing you usually do every day. Walk the dog? Have the kids do it. Low priority meeting at work? Send your assistant. Kids to soccer practice? Have them carpool or ask your partner. Unless your specific genius is required… delegate it Sis.
Block off time in your calendar for your Self-Care Practices. I’m serious, schedule it in your calendar in permanent marker. Give yourself AT LEAST one hour during your bleed to devote to loving your body.
Say NO to non-essential social gatherings. Do you really need to go to your second cousin’s third bridal shower? Prob not Sis.
The BRIGHT Side of Periods = Getting REST
Sister, you have GOT to rest. Dr. Jade Tada, founder of Metabolic Renewal for women, uses one of my favorite sayings during his hormone-loving workouts: “I love it when you REST.” Getting enough restoration during your period is not just a luxury, it’s a NECESSITY my friend. Your body NEEDS to slow down.
Look in nature, and you'll see many plants and trees go into dormancy during the winter months. Growing leaves, flowers, and fruit require a great deal of energy, and the plants and trees that grow in temperate climates rely on the rest for protection and energy conservation.
News Flash: You and those trees come from the same stuff, Sis. You are made of the same Life Force, the same Stardust, and everything living has a time for expansion and a time for rest. If you are breathing, you are no exception to this natural order of life.
Just like the seasons, you have a built-in perfect blueprint to live your life to its fullest. And that blueprint is your entire menstrual cycle. You go through Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter every month as your body moves through your Follicular, Ovulatory, Luteal, and Menstrual Phases. I know that we’ve created a world where life can basically continue doing business as usual every day of the year (thanks to electricity!)… but just because it is happening all around you, it doesn’t mean you have to play by society’s rules.
Here are a few ways you can incorporate more rest into your Slow Down Days:
Get enough sleep. Women need more sleep than men, especially during their menstrual phase. You should be getting 7-9 hours of sleep every night anyway, but if that’s a hard thing for you, then make sure you get this sleep during your period.
Slow the fuck down. I mean it. Quit running around like a Chihuahua on speed and slow your roll. I promise you; those dishes are still going to get done. Pretend like you are moving through water and take your time.
Turn off the phone and TV 1 hour before bed. Give yourself time to wind down and prepare for sleep. Dim the lights, read a book, or talk with your partner.
Take Eye Breaks. During your workday, take an Eye Break every 30 minutes. Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths. Release the tension in your shoulders, buttocks, and face.
The BRIGHT Side of Periods = Embracing INTROSPECTION
If you’re a High Achieving Extrovert like me, chances are the word “introspection” sends shivers of fear down your spine. Turning inwards and examining your feelings sounds worse than nails on a chalkboard, right? As cringy as it sounds, turning inwards during your Moon-time is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. And you do that by journaling.
“The starting point of discovering who you are, your gifts, your talents, your dreams, is being comfortable with yourself. Spend time alone. Write in a journal.” - Robin Sharma
Journaling is one of the most important habits you can develop, and if you talk to any of the high performers out there, they will likely tell you they spend time reflecting. While I recommend daily journaling practice, it’s essential to dedicate time during your bleed to reflect on the past month and give voice to the parts of you that rarely have a space to speak.
Your inner child, your dreamy self, your creative self, your soul, or even your body… they all want to have a chance to speak. And since you are most connected to your emotional self during your period, it is the perfect time to spend quality time with your heart.
Here are some practices to help you turn inwards during your Slow Down Days:
Write a letter to your body. Speak to her as if she was a person. What do you want to say to her? How can you bring gratitude and appreciation to her?
Two Pen Journaling. Grab two different color pens and have a conversation with an aspect of you. Get to know your body, your creativity, or your soul by writing questions or speaking to them, switching pens, and writing what comes to you.
Past month reflection. Reflect on the last month and be real about how your life is going. How do you feel emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually? Which part needs some attention this next cycle?
Connect with your Heart. Use a guided meditation or visualization that leads you through a connection with your inner child or another emotional aspect of you. Spend 15 minutes journaling your experience afterward. You can find many free meditations on Insight Timer or YouTube.
The BRIGHT Side of Periods = Gentle Activities
When it comes to your workouts and social activities, the key is to SLOW DOWN during your period. Pushing yourself to the max every day at the gym is not helping your hormones or stress levels. On the other hand, not exercising because you have no time is also not doing your body or hormones any good. If you are putting in the time to make some changes to support yourself and your cycle, then creating balance in your movement and other activities is essential.
Remember, your Estrogen and Progesterone are at their lowest points during your Menstrual Phase, so your energy levels naturally take a dip. This is the perfect time to focus on stretching, calming, restorative movement. That way, when your Follicular Phase starts around day 6-8, you’ll be ready to harness that rising energy and hit the gym refreshed.
If you have a full social calendar, you might notice that you feel more quiet or less inclined to be in a big group during your Slow Down Days. Instead of forcing yourself to be the bubbly, social butterfly all the time, work with the natural inclination to turn down the volume of your activities. Listening to that call inwards builds trust with your body and heart and allows for a more authentic expression of all the different facets of you.
Here are some ways to incorporate Gentle Activities in your Slow Down Days:
Exercise Swap. Switch up your usual HIIT or Spin class for a Yoga or Pilates class. If you do BODi, I love doing Flow workouts from “Fire and Flow” during my bleed week.
Low-Key Friend Time. Skip the big party and opt for an intimate tea date with 2-3 girlfriends.
Quiet Date Night. Instead of having a big physically active or stimulating date with your beau, plan a sunset picnic at your favorite park or a painting class together.
Chill Camp-out. Rather than going to an amusement park with the kids, plan a themed movie marathon and camp out in the living room… save the roller coasters for the middle of your cycle (Days 8-20).
The BRIGHT Side of Periods = Receiving HELP
Aha! I bet you thought "Help" was about you helping others… nope! This is about you RECEIVING help from others. If there’s anything I know about High Achieving Super Women, we have THE HARDEST TIME asking for and receiving help. Learning to delegate was one of the most challenging skills I had to learn while in the Navy, and I still struggle with it sometimes. I want to emphasize something to you: Just because you CAN do a task, it doesn’t mean YOU should be doing it.
One of the biggest shifts in my life happened when I started creating space around my Slow Down Days and asking for help from my partner and kiddo around the house. When you allow others to support and help you while you bleed, suddenly that Angry Period Demon that takes over your brain becomes much calmer and less demon-y.
Maybe instead of feeling possessed by PMS, it's actually our Inner Self just crying out for some reprieve from the never-ending doings we place upon ourselves.
Here are some ways that you can Receive Help during your Slow Down Days:
Gather the troops. Ask for extra help around the house from your partner or older kids or hire a housekeeper to do bigger chores during your bleed week.
Offload Tasks. Delegate non-you-essential tasks at work to your team or business partner.
Receive with grace. Say YES when someone offers to help you with the kids or something in the house, rather than saying “no, I’ve got it.” Give gratitude and appreciation for their assistance, and go do one of your Rest activities.
Plan ahead. Give your Future Bleeding Self the gift of Meal preparation by planning for the week ahead of time. Plan meals that are healthy and easy to make, like crock pot or one-pan dinners. Food prep breakfast and lunch for yourself. Bonus: Have your partner or older kids plan and prepare a meal.
The BRIGHT Side of Periods = Tracking Your Cycle
Last, but certainly not least, is tracking your entire cycle. Sure, this one falls outside just your period, but it can make a huge difference in how you care for yourself during your bleed.
If you had a really stressful month because a big launch at work, or the kids were sick and you spent much of the month tending to them, you are going to need extra TLC come Moon-time. By documenting your energy levels and habits throughout the month, you’ll start to see how you can best take care of YOU.
I absolutely love using my Cycles Journal to track my cycle. It only took a couple of months for me to see that my constant GO-GO-GO and taking care of everyone else was affecting my moods, increasing PMS symptoms, and making my cycles irregular and painful. Once I started spending 10 minutes a day keeping track of how I felt and where I was in my cycle, I could see the direct results of my self-care practices and what happens when I don’t prioritize them.
Here are some ways you can start Tracking your entire cycle:
Old School. Grab your copy of Cycles Journal and spend 10 minutes before you go to bed reflecting on your day. Right now the 2024 journals are only $15, plus you can use my code KORIRAEWELLNESS for an extra 10% off coupon!
Tech Savvy. Use a cycle-tracking app like Stardust or Flo to document your symptoms, energy levels, and moods. Take notes of your activities, workouts, and social time.
Free-Spirit. Use a blank journal and reflect on your day, freewriting style. Mark each day with your Cycle Day number, like Day 3 or Day 17 along with the date. That way, you can reflect back and see patterns in a few months.
Conclusion
I know you’ve got big goals and dreams, Mama. I’m proud of you for going after your desires. You also don’t need to suffer with shitty periods and feeling like you’re on the brink of burnout, either. Now is the time to start making some shifts and getting to know this incredible source of power within you. You deserve to feel BRIGHT, vibrant, and full of life. Your partner, kids, friends, and dreams deserve to experience that version of you, too.
You are a beautifully unique, capable human being. And your body is just as unique and exquisite. The truth is, we spend countless hours learning how to run a business or memorize all the rules to our kid’s sports, but we barely know how to take care of our own cyclical bodies. Your body is just waiting for you to learn about her, speak to her, and support her. She’s been here for you since your first breath, and she’ll be there for you until your last. She truly is your Soul’s Mate, and now is the time for you to get to know who she is.
If you’d like to dive deeper into living a BRIGHT life or getting to know your cycle, schedule a free cycle wellness session with me. I’d love to help you bring your most vibrant self into the world, so you can achieve your dreams with joy, exuberance, and health.
Much Love,
💋Kori Rae
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